Societal expectations: An unnecessary pressure on youths

By Omolola Okanlawon

Societal expectations are the invincible script we’re all handed from a young age: get good grades, be social, have a vibrant social life, be the perfect friend and family member, all while maintaining flawless mental and physical health.

It is a checklist the “ideal” youth, technically achievable but often at a devastating cost. I’ve watched peers come close to this ideal, but they always sacrifice something, most often their mental well-being.

This immense pressure isn’t just exhausting, it’s a source of profound pain, leading many down a path of anxiety and depression and in most tragic cases suicide.

This pressure originates from several key sources, each adding another weight to the burden young people carry.

Firstly, parental pressure is a significant contributor. Almost all parents in the world want the best for their children. Nowadays, many parents push their children to attend extra classes and pursue courses the parents choose for them. When youths are burdened with these high expectations, they experience intense stress and exhaustion because they cannot bear to disappoint their parents.

While parents have good intentions, they often fails to understand the emotional effects on their children. It is healthy to want to bring out the best in your child, but sometimes the pressure to perform can have serious consequences.

Many popular celebrities in Nigeria, studied Law, medicine among other professional courses in different Universities but ended up being musicians, actors or social media influencers against the desires of their parents. Some who could not dare their parents still live under their influence or protection.

Compounding this pressure is the modern phenomenon of social media. In this digital era, social media is almost inescapable. Platforms like Facebook, instagram and tiktok have a powerful influence, exerting a new form of social pressure.

For many youths, these platforms create intense pressure to maintain impressive “cool” profiles where popularity is quantified by likes, shares and comments.

This environment fosters cyberbullying, which can leave victim anxious, depressed and constantly stressed. The mindset of young adult is easily affected by these negative issues, making the Misuse of Social Media a major factor in societal pressure.

For example, many tiktokers experience significant emotional distress when their accounts are banned, a reaction that underscores the deep connection they have to their digital community. This often also often escalate into their personal lives, attracting negative attention and comments from the public.

Furthermore, youths face intense internal and psychological pressures.
This is often driven by a deep-seated desire to fit In and the overwhelming fear of an unknown future. A youth who feels, lost without guide, and terrified of the future is under huge pressure to have everything figured out. This internal struggle, combined with external voices, can lead to devastating outcome.

Also, most influencers promotes fake lifestyles, for young audiences the compulsion to imitate these impossible high standards can have serious consequences. Including debt from high spending, over identify with a life that isn’t real.

The syndrome of youth anxiety is borne out of despair and disappointment. It manifest in social vices such as sexual promiscuity a problem prevalent in institutions due to the pressure that “everybody is doing it” and cultism, often fueled by factors like unstable home, life and poverty.

The consequences of this multifaceted pressure are severe and widespread. Research confirms that adolescence and emerging adulthood are crucial periods for wellbeing and mental health, as this stage involves many changes in relationships, social role, and the adoption of responsibilities.

Yet, we must ask: who is “society”? The uncomfortable answer is that we are. We are the ones prolonging these pressures through thoughtless comments, extreme bullying and the expectations we inherit from previous generations and pass on. It is a cycle, and we need to be the ones to break it.

The good news is that we have the power to do so. Managing this stress starts with practical, intentional strategies aimed at reclaiming your autonomy.

The first step is building self-awareness, the foundation for managing stress from societal expectations. By understanding your value and authentic self, you can differentiate between expectations that align with your goals and those imposed externally.

Practicing mindfulness, such as daily self-reflection or journaling, helps identify when your actions are influenced by external pressures.

Recognizing personal triggers such as family gatherings, performance reviews or social media comparisons, allows you to respond with intentions rather than react out of insecurity.

Self compassion is another critical tool. It counteracts the self criticism that often accompanies unmet expectations. When feeling stressed about not meeting an expectation, ask yourself, “how would I support a friend in this situation?”. This shift in perspective foster self acceptance and reduces harsh self judgement, accepting the common humanity of struggle.

Setting healthy boundaries safeguards metal well being by defining what you will and won’t accept from others. Personal boundaries help limit the time and energy spent meeting external expectations, while emotional boundaries prevent taking responsibility for others reactions to your choices.

Physical boundaries ensure space for self care, and digital boundaries help mange social media consumption to to reduce unhealthy comparison. Clear communication is key, statement like, “I appreciate your advice, but I need to make this decision for myself”, reinforce your autonomy while maintaining respect in relationships.

The journey to break free from these expectations is not about rebellion for its own sake, but about curating a life that is authentically yours. It involves examining each expectation, whether it comes from parents, peers, or platforms and asking “does this align with who I am and who I want to become?”.

The curation process requires redefining success on your own terms. Success does not have to be a linear path with predetermined milestones at specific ages. It can be a mixture of experiences, learnings, failures, and personal triumphs that may not look impressive in social media feed but bring genuine contentment and growth.

The role of parents and mentors must evolve from directors to supporters. Instead of mapping a life paths for young adults, the goal should be to equip them with emotional tool to navigate their own journey. This includes fostering resilience, critical thinking, and self compassion needed to withstand societal pressures.

Furthermore, the role of religious institutions must extend beyond the pulpit. In an era of intense social pressure they have a critical mandate to actively guide and educate young people, building a foundation of self worth that protects them. This means creating youth programs that directly address digital wellness, using faith as a framework for resilience rather than a retreat from the modern world.

Educational institutions also bear a responsibility. Beyond academic excellence, curricula should integrate life skills such as digital literacy, emotional intelligence, and mindfulness practices.Preparing students for the real world means preparing them for psychological challenges they will inevitably face, not just the intellectual ones.

The economic structures that intensify this pressure cannot be ignored. The instability of jobs, the soaring cost of living and competitive nature of the economy create a tangible foundation for anxiety.

Addressing societal pressure is not just about changing mindset, it also requires advocating for economic policies that provide youths with a more stable and equitable foundation to build their lives upon.

Surrounding yourself with people who celebrate you, not a perfect image, creates a buffer against societal pressure. These relationships provides a safe space to be vulnerable, to share struggles without judgement, and to receive validation that you are enough, exactly as you are.

Identity exploration is not a sign of being lost, it is a necessary and healthy process of finding one’s self.

However, in cultures that demand early specialization and rapid success, this exploratory period is often seen as a luxury or a failure, rather than a crucial development stage.

It is helpful to remember that most people are too preoccupied with their own lives to scrutinize yours as closely as you might fear. This realization can be freeing, allowing you to make choices based on your desires rather than in perceived judgement.

Also, the future of work is also changing rapidly. Careers that exist today, may not tomorrow, and new ones are constantly emerging. This fluidity means that adaptability, creativity and continuous learning are not valuable assets than rigidly following a predetermined, “safe” path that may not be safe in a long run.

Navigating societal expectations is a universal challenge, but with awareness, self compassion and intentional choices, you can reduce the stress they may cause.

By understanding which expectation truly matter to you and developing the courage to release those that don’t, you create space for a more authentic and fulfilling life.